Dissatisfied with the coffee produced by their year-old superautomatic espresso machines, the EU is preparing to train in the art of pulling shots.

You can stop beating yourself up over that $4 latte. The European Union has taken coffee spending to the extreme.

The EU came under fire last year when an international newspaper reported that it had purchased 21 deluxe espresso makers each costing approximately $7,500. Critics were outraged over the group’s wasteful spending and the worsening economy only served to fuel the fire.

Then, as they so often do, things got worse. The officials actually began to complain that the expensive espresso makers produced bad-tasting espresso. La Cimbali, the Italian manufacturer who supplied the machines, was scandalized even though many have suggested that it’s the hard water at the Berlaymont Building where the EU is headquartered rather than the quality of the machines.

Dale Kidd, a spokesman on behalf of the EU, said “the water company has confirmed that water hardness can be quite variable.”

In a move meant to save face, La Cimbali will furnish the commission with new machines and offer training to some of the EU’s highest officials in machine usage and care. Water softeners had been added to the building’s water supply to help correct the hard water problem, but the commission plans to remove them to see how the new machines function without their help.

A committee to help run the committee

On Tuesday, La Cimbali will meet with representatives from each commissioner’s department to train them in “coffee tasting theory and sensorial techniques” as well as recipes and machine procedures. Unofficial “coffee monitors” will be assigned to ensure the proper care and usage of each machine.

La Cimbali specializes in the type of superautomatic machines the EU is using. With the touch of a button, the company’s M1 MilkPS Coffee Machine grinds the beans, selects the proper quantity of milk, and discards the grounds.

La Cimbali is based in Milan and has been in operation since 1912. According to their website, their machines can be found in 100 countries and 70 percent of their business takes place outside of Italy.

As much as I love espresso and understand the need to have it taste right, I think this is a bit extreme. I’m glad people are standing up and saying something because if this were congress instead of the EU, imagine what the outrage would be like here.

The commission has jumped to the coffee-drinking officials’ defense over the machines, saying it would be ridiculous to expect them to stand in line for their coffee at cafes around Brussels and in the Berlaymont building. I guess the EU doesn’t understand what interns are for.

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